What To Expect

We will arrange a time to have a brief call to understand more about your needs for therapy and decide whether we are a good match. I will also be available to hold a quick video session if that makes you feel more comfortable.

Your first session can feel awkward, exciting or even downright terrifying. Whatever you're feeling, it's okay starting counselling can be a big step. First sessions can be nervewracking for me too as I'm naturally anxious about meeting new people.

We'll begin by going through some essential paperwork and discussing the practicalities of working together. I'll explain my responsibilities to you, including confidentiality, safeguarding, and how your personal information and any records I keep are stored and protected. You'll have the opportunity to ask questions and make sure you understand what working together involves.

The first session can sometimes feel a little more formal, as I may ask more questions than in subsequent sessions. This helps us establish a shared understanding of what has brought you to counselling and what you're hoping to get from it.

It's also an opportunity for us to talk about your expectations of therapy and how we can work together towards them. We can discuss how and when we'll review our work, giving us space to reflect on whether therapy is meeting your needs and whether anything needs to change.

There's no pressure to have everything figured out from the beginning. We'll take things at a pace that feels comfortable for you.

This can be a difficult one to approach. For me, it's often felt easier to keep things inside and do my reflecting internally. Something can feel frightening about sharing our thoughts and feelings out loud, particularly when we've spent a long time keeping them to ourselves.

For me, part of the power of speaking openly in therapy is the safety that can be found in the therapeutic relationship. It's an opportunity to say things that might feel difficult, uncomfortable or even frightening to share in the outside world, knowing that there's space to explore them without judgement or pressure.

There's something significant about putting our thoughts into words. Things that might have existed vaguely in the background of our minds become more tangible when we speak them aloud. Sometimes, saying something out loud can feel like a commitment, as though we've made it real. Yet therapy gives us the freedom to explore what those words mean, rather than having to accept them as absolute truths.

We might discover that a belief we've held for years doesn't quite fit us anymore. We might hear ourselves say something and realise we don't entirely agree with it, or find that it brings up feelings we hadn't expected. Sometimes, simply hearing our own words can help us see them differently.

Throughout my own journey as a client in therapy, I've also come to recognise that the things I wasn't saying were sometimes just as important as the things I was. The hesitation, the words I struggled to find, or the subjects I kept returning to without quite addressing them could all offer something worth exploring.

You don't need to know exactly what you want to say when you come to therapy. You don't need to have everything worked out, either. Sometimes, the process begins with simply finding the words, together, for something you've been carrying on your own.

During talking therapy, you might notice that your therapist sometimes reflects back something you've just said. This can feel a little strange at first. In everyday conversation, if someone repeatedly repeated your words back to you, you might wonder what on earth they were doing!

In therapy, though, reflections serve a purpose. They can help you feel heard and understood, letting you know that your therapist is following what you're saying and giving you space to explore it further.

But there's something else happening, too. Sometimes, when I reflect something back to a client, it's not simply to show that I've been listening. It's about giving the client the opportunity to hear their own words again.

When we speak, we don't always have time to fully take in what we're saying. Thoughts and feelings can come out quickly, sometimes before we've had a chance to understand them ourselves. Hearing those words reflected back can offer a moment to pause and consider them.

You might hear something and realise it captures exactly how you feel. You might recognise something you hadn't noticed before, or discover that the words don't quite fit. You might even find yourself wanting to correct me or explain what you meant differently. All of these responses can be valuable.

For me, an important part of reflection is leaving the meaning with the client. I'm not trying to tell you what your experience means or offer an interpretation of who you are. Instead, I'm offering something back for you to consider, question or explore in whatever way feels right to you.

You are always the person best placed to tell me whether I've understood you. If my reflection doesn't feel right, there's room for us to explore that, too.

Ultimately, reflections aren't about finding the right words for you. They're about creating space for you to find your own.

You may experience me staying silent during sessions sometimes for just a brief while, and other times what feels like an eternity. And maybe you land on the conclusion of "This guy is broken he doesn't know what to say", or that maybe we are in a weird game of therapy chicken, seeing who dares to speak first. Silence can feel uncomfortable, especially when we're used to filling it. But in therapy, silence doesn't have to mean that nothing is happening. Sometimes, it's in these quieter moments that we begin to notice what we're feeling, find the words we've been struggling with, or simply allow ourselves to sit with an experience without needing to explain it away. Often times in session a prolonged silence has allowed a client to unpack a particularly difficult feeling, or given them space to breath after an intense disclosure. I feel that for myself when having therapy was that out of silence came most of my profound realisations.

You might be wondering what a typical counselling session looks like, or whether we'll follow a set structure each time we meet.

Person-centred counselling is generally more open-ended than some structured approaches to therapy. You decide what you'd like to bring to each session, whether that's something that's been troubling you, a feeling you've been struggling to make sense of, or simply something that's been on your mind.

Sometimes, we might spend a whole session exploring one particular issue. At other times, something new might emerge as we talk, and you may find that what feels most important to explore has changed. There's room for that. We don't need to stick to a particular topic simply because we started there.

Some approaches, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), may involve more structured sessions, agreed goals, specific techniques and activities to practise between appointments. Person-centred counselling generally takes a different approach. We won't follow a fixed agenda or routinely set homework. Instead, the focus is on what feels relevant and meaningful to you.

That doesn't mean we can't have a sense of direction. If you feel you're not making the progress you'd hoped for, or that something isn't quite working for you, we can talk about that together. We can reflect on what you're getting from therapy, what you would like to be different, and whether there's anything about our work that needs to change.

Ultimately, this is your space. You don't need to prepare a list of things to discuss or arrive knowing exactly what you want to talk about. We can work with whatever feels important to you, and allow the direction of our sessions to develop as we go.

It's natural to wonder what you're working towards when you begin counselling. Perhaps you have something specific you'd like to change, or perhaps you simply know that something doesn't feel right and you're not sure why.

In person-centred counselling, there isn't a fixed goal that I'm working towards on your behalf. Instead, therapy offers you the space to explore your experiences, develop a deeper understanding of yourself, and discover what feels meaningful to you.

For some people, this might mean making sense of difficult feelings, recognising patterns in their lives, or finding a different way of relating to themselves and others. For others, it might be about exploring questions of identity, meaning, or the direction they want their lives to take.

What do we mean when we talk about processing feelings? For me, it often means allowing feelings the space and time to develop, rather than immediately trying to change, suppress or escape them.

We all find ways of coping with difficult emotions. Sometimes we turn to things that help us numb what we're feeling, such as alcohol. We might push feelings aside, shut down when something painful emerges, or hide behind humour and sarcasm when things become uncomfortable. These responses can help us get through difficult moments, but sometimes they can also make it harder for us to understand what we're experiencing.

The feelings we push away don't necessarily disappear. They may return when we least expect them, or continue to affect us in ways we don't fully recognise.

So what happens when, instead of immediately trying to escape a feeling, we give ourselves the opportunity to sit with it? What happens when we allow ourselves to experience shame, guilt, anger, sadness or even joy, without immediately judging it or deciding that something needs to be done about it?

Sometimes, we begin to discover that a feeling, however uncomfortable, is just that: a feeling. It isn't necessarily a reflection of who we are, a verdict on our worth, or something we must act upon. We can experience anger without acting on it, feel shame without allowing it to define us, or experience sadness without needing to make it disappear.

This doesn't mean that feelings are always easy to sit with, or that we should have to face overwhelming emotions alone. In therapy, we can explore these experiences at a pace that feels manageable, gradually developing a greater understanding of what we feel and how we relate to those feelings.

My hope is that therapy remains beneficial to you for as long as we work together. However, there may come a point when you feel that counselling isn't what you had hoped for, that something about our work doesn't feel right, or that you've reached a place where you feel ready to continue without therapy.

Whatever the reason, it's important to me that you feel able to make the decision that's right for you.

If something isn't working for you, you're welcome to bring that into our sessions. We can talk openly about your experience of therapy, what you feel you need, and whether there's anything we might do differently. You don't need to protect my feelings or worry about disappointing me. Your experience matters, and honest conversations about our work can sometimes open up something important.

If you decide you'd like to end counselling, I may suggest a final session. Therapy is a relationship, and having the opportunity to reflect on your experience, recognise what you've taken from it and bring things to a close can be valuable.

However, a final session is an invitation, not an obligation. If you decide that you don't want any further sessions, I will respect that, too. You don't need to justify your decision or continue with therapy simply because we've started working together.

Ultimately, therapy is here for you. My role is to support you while we work together, not to decide how long that should be.